The dating scene is quite volatile. The streets are not as kind as before. The population is increasing, but it seems numbers are lying this time round. Getting a sincere person to date is more difficult than ever before. The news is clouded with recurrent episodes of homicides, broken and breaking families. Those who are single better remain single! But this can only work if you are called to celibacy; I don’t mean self-appointed celibacy!
The consequences of mistakes made in the dating scene are especially more momentous to women than men. I am not saying that men go scot-free if they make errors in the dating scene, but the consequences are more costly to women. Therefore today, we will focus on saving the ladies. Men, you better be watchful too because, in essence, we are poking holes in your manifestos. We will not solve the problem by importing men from Jupiter; there are no men there anyway. Instead, we will focus on the decision-making process. No man is perfect, but you can redefine your perfection and tend towards that.
Anytime you’re in a toxic relationship and you didn’t report a case of an indecent act or rape, you deserve what you get. You chose to be a party to that, and you must accept the consequences of your choice as an adult. You can reduce by a great degree the chances of emotional torture by making a strict sieve to weed out the tares in the dating highways and byways.
Everyone has their tastes and preferences. I will not tell you which man to take. However, if you want to walk softly in the dating scene, you may need to avoid the following men:
1. A man who despise holy things
Human beings were created to worship. No man can claim that he regards no supreme being. The true worth of a man is defined by the extent to which he recognizes high authorities, of which God is at the pinnacle. You need to be very careful as you consider this. A lot of things influence our responses to God. Some are spiritual because of the faith of their fathers, and vice versa. When we talk about despisers of Holy things, we are not talking about the secular per se, but those who go out of their ways to oppose everything divine. Like Pharaoh, they demonstrate by their behaviors to be asking the question, “Who is God that I should worship Him?”
If God’s goodness has not moved them to repentance, what will your mood swings and inconsistencies do?
Marriage and romantic relationships between men and women was God’s idea, and if one does not recognize God, they should avoid His inventions. You may need to have a flashback here.
2. A man who plays truant to be with you.
A truant, defined, is one who shirks duty or one who stays out of school without permission.
If a man avoids his responsibilities to be with you, you can be sure there is a problem. He has lost his mind for you, and when he gets it back, someone must suffer, and I dare say he is not the one. If a student has stopped going to class because he is in love, or if someone keeps finding excuses at work because he is in love, just be sure there is a problem. It is lust masquerading as love, and it usually leaves too soon when it has received what it wanted.
A man who stops being useful because he is in love with you is a man to avoid. You are too beautiful for him; he cannot handle you!
If he loves you and he still attends lectures, Churchboard, and choir practices religiously, then he is a fine specimen. Don’t disturb him.
3. A man who wants to “Make Eve Pregnant before he makes Eden pregnant.”
This is a man who wants to have you before he finishes his assignments. He wants to be a husband before he becomes a boyfriend. No sooner has he known you well than he is demanding to be taken to the high table, the table reserved for husbands.
According to God, man needs work before he needs a woman. Adam was set on duty before he was given Eve. Eve found him busy naming warthogs, hedgehogs, and the inkalimeva. But wait a minute, work and job are two different things. Work is a divinely ordained purpose to solve a problem and make a difference in your life if fulfilled. A man can feel the need to be in romance before he discovers his purpose in life. A man can impregnate a woman before his brain fully develops. It requires no talent or mental ability; even a mad man can do it, so long as he has a viable seed.
As a woman, you will be safe in the company of a man who can identify with some cause. He has instincts of labor, and he is making himself useful. Such a man will not take you in by faith but will find a way of providing basic needs before he approaches your parents and seeks their permission to invest in your heart.
If he behaves in a way that suggests he doesn’t mind having you in the tenement before making things right with the economy, your parents, and himself, you can disturb him a little. Help him discover himself. He is a nice boy, but not a man.
4. A man who does not dress well.
Dress is finding a space here too. I have sometimes garnered more respect in some forums because I was slightly careful about my dress. I have also been addressed slightly lower than my expectations in some instances because I seemingly didn’t have a wedding garment.
We can excuse a boy for not dressing well, but no man can practice this ‘unholy’ habit of dressing shabbily and go free. But again, you need to know that dressing well and dressing expensively are two different concepts. I know of people with reasonable economic muscle, but I am not glad about their clad for some reason.
If a man is comfortable with something less than smart, you may be sure there is a little more you need to do. If you are ready to train him, bravo. But remember, old dogs are not comfortable with new tricks.
5. A man with hair on his Knees.
You must have skipped everything jumping to see this, which was supposed to shock you. Well, I don’t care if you are not shocked, so long as I am shocked. Well, you expected that if I touched something on hair, it would have nothing to do with knees. Well, I will excuse the beard gang for today.
A man with hair on his knees is a man who does not kneel. Every serious man must have a place where he kneels or something for which he must kneel. Kneeling when a man is supposed to kneel prepares him to stand before great men.
Those who have learned to kneel before God will stand tall before their enemies. Those who have learned to kneel in their assignments will stand tall before their colleagues at work. The act of kneeling represents commitment, diligence, and a high degree of self-awareness.
You get a man with ‘hairy knees; run for your life.
6. A man who doesn’t open up on their struggles, especially Financial…
Most men are tempted to define themselves based on their financial muscles. Most men feel they are great men when they can sponsor expensive dates and have more money than their girlfriends can spend. I will in no way demystify the importance of finances in the life of man. I once heard a woman saying that men’s money is sweet. To be honest, solving all reasonable financial problems, especially when love is involved, makes men have some degree of worth.
However, the reality demands some little consideration. Finances do not come your way just because you are a man. There is a scarcity of resources and unlimited wants confronting us daily. The truth is that people go through a lot before they get to that point of a given degree of comfort.
Men do share their struggles, especially financial ones, only with people they trust. If you have a good relationship, he should open up when things are not stable.
If he cannot trust you with, “I am broke today,” just know he is not your friend. What are you doing falling in love with someone who is not your friend?
7. A man who does not respect Women, especially His mother.
Fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree. If there is a mango fruit close to a mango tree, you can connect the two.
You can guess how someone will treat you by the way they treat others.
Most men who do not respect women are products of societies that abuse women. A man who demonstrates some biased attitude towards women is a questionable man to trust as a woman. If he neglects his mother and treats you well, you better run away from him.
The above seven principles are your shield in the dating scene. Live them, love them. It will make a difference.