You Must Leave Before You Cleave

One of the things quite clear in the book of Genesis, the mother of all Bible doctrines and divine requirements, is the pattern of matrimonial advancement. It goes thus:

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. {Genesis 2:24}

The pattern herein stated does not represent the popular one or the politically correct one. It is politically incorrect and culturally embattled. But one thing is solemn and unquestionable in it—it bears the credentials of heaven. It represents God’s original desire and perfect will for humankind. It represents a working formula before man was weakened by transgression when he still had twenty times the vital force of the modern man. If it was better for man to leave before cleaving in Eden, how important is it for man fallen and degenerated?

God’s original desire was that when someone attains a capacity to start their own matrimonial, they must leave their father and mother, fly on their wings, and start their own family. Such a man is now qualified to cleave unto his wife. If you’re a keen reader, you must have seen it written, “his wife,” not “his wives” or “his neighbour’s wife.”

The verb ‘leave’ is a household term, but I may need to clarify the verb ‘cleave’. Cleave defined means to adhere firmly and closely or loyally and unwaveringly. I think this definition is the best considering what we are discussing here. Before you commit your adherence firmly and closely to someone, leave. Relieve your parents of the responsibility of fattening a cow that is milked by someone else whom they don’t know.

This is not a mere theological argument. It is a formula that works, and if abused, we must pay dearly. In this respect, it is a path of safety to respect the formula. Maybe we start by checking the reality on the ground. How is the world standing today? In most cultures, it was considered honourable that a young woman keeps herself pristine and untainted at the time of marriage. Most cultures and religious groups still look at virginity as a demonstration of a high degree of integrity. But the reality is inconsistent. The waves of the sexual revolution—a social movement that challenged traditional codes of behaviour related to sexuality and interpersonal relationships throughout the United States from the 1960s to the 1980s—have hoisted us in our own petard. There is an increasing tendency to defy what has been practised, not because of obsolescence but because of the need to different. We are trying to find what works for the modern man, and we are very busy in the labs of assumption trying the unimaginable. I believe certain things do not call for creativity but obedience. One of them is the formula. If in geometry paper, the instruction is to take ℼ to be 3.14, it may be detrimental to use 22/7 since the two have different values. Another one is what air to breathe. If it is clear that only oxygen supports life, it is not safe to try what happens when you are in a vacuum of laughing gas(N₂O). To a great extent, we take creativity overboard, and the social framework is highly affected.

Some liberties must not be given before one qualifies for them. People must learn to refuse the responsibilities they don’t qualify for, and most people have done well here. Many homicides result from young men who have supported their girlfriend’s education, who end up loving other people they consider better. Most people have done well in this respect. But the other side of the coin is important too. Not only avoid the responsibilities you don’t qualify for but don’t seek the benefits you don’t qualify for either. As a boyfriend or girlfriend, support each other to grow in your capacity to be useful. Do not burden yourself with the responsibility of meeting the needs that the parents should do. After avoiding the responsibilities, then remain a boyfriend. Understanding very well the line of demarcation between a boyfriend/girlfriend and a husband/wife. Do not demand the privileges of a husband/wife if you are a boyfriend/girlfriend. Do not sign up for the responsibilities of a wife/hubby if you aren’t one. The consequences are severe. Ask people who have lost a consummated relationship and are forced to break the emotional attachments and investments.

The cases of divorce and marital conflicts are more rampant today than ever before. I will spare you the numbers because the statistics are disturbing. But sometimes, it is necessary to face the hard facts. Researchers estimate that 41 per cent of all first marriages end in divorce. 8. 60 per cent of second marriages end in divorce. These are global statistics, and some countries, especially the ‘developed economies’, exceed the global averages. Most of these are due to infidelity and people entertaining multiple attachments. Who expects a better result while the age of consent for heterosexual relationships is going lower and lower? The principle of cause and effect is reluctant to accommodate adjustments. We must pay for the liberties we give sooner or later.

There could be a different trend if people kept themselves consistent with the developers manual. When you buy your cable TV, you connect it based on the given manual. But why are you indifferent when your life is involved? Why are you going away from the manual to your destruction? If the cleaving precedes leaving, you will not get your best out of that connection. The reason is simple: No one is under pressure to pay for a free lunch. While postpaid options can work in most commodities’ markets, it does not work in the market for souls. To this end, it will be safe to make the banner clear with these words underlined separately like scientific names: Strictly Prepaid.

20 thoughts on “You Must Leave Before You Cleave

  1. Its high time we go back to the manual that was give by God in eden and our families will be built in a strong foundation which is God

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Top 1 stories that will make man great again if he can only remember and do according to that. Thànks mtumishi for the words of wisdom.

    Liked by 2 people

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